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every country has a monster – mystery science theater 3000 lyrics

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[jonah]
reptilicus is silly, but he really ill-strates
the great array of monsters all over the place
not just in j-pan, but across the planet
an “a-to-z” gamut—a gargantuan panoply

[tom]
example, please?

[jonah]
well, name a land

[tom]
belize

[jonah]
oh, geez; easy peasie, mes amies
see, in the yucatan you can meet el cadejo
in belize they believe in him
they’re not afraid to say so

[tom]
scotland?

[jonah]
nessie’s livin’ up in a loch

[tom]
how ’bout poland?

[jonah]
a scary scarecrow named bubak

[crow]
huh; so…it’s not just godzilla?

[tom]
well, duh, crow; there’s a lot that could k!ll ya’

[crow]
hey!

[jonah]
tom

[tom]
sorry, crow

[crow]
okay

[tom]
bros?

[crow]
sho

[tom]
yo, jonah, how’s the chorus go?

[jonah]
every country has a monster
they’re afraid of in their nation

[jonah, tom and crow]
every monster has a country
yeah, a station they call their homeopathy

[crow]
gunter, glieben, glauchen, crow-ben

[tom]
what turned the musk deer’s guts to spaghetti?

[jonah]
was it in tibet?

[tom]
yep

[jonah]
i bet he met a yeti

[crow]
australia?

[jonah]
there, drop bears will impale ya

[tom]
then they’ll sell ya h-lla-touristy paraphernalia

[jonah]
chupacabra’s chewin’ up cattle down in mexico
deelgeed’s horn is gorein’, battling the navajo
congo’s kongamato is a mongo flying dino
i know i don’t want to die
but when i do, he’ll be the guy

[tom/crow]
whoa!

[tom]
so, crow?

[crow]
servo?

[tom]
ready to go?

[crow]
start slow

[tom]
kropermann is a monster from luxembourg

[crow]
who’s actually the size of luxembourg

[tom]
he crushed the whole country of luxembourg

[both]
because he is the size of luxembourg

[jonah]
what?!?

[crow]
egypt’s got mummies like tutankhamun

[tom]
leprechaun on the lawn in boston common

[jonah]
you bots got the hang of it
the song’s really kickin’

[all]
chickity-china, the chinese chicken!

[jonah]
(spoken)
and by that i mean jiufeng and peng, giant chinese birds, and one of them turns into a fish. anyway…
(sung)
gnus, k!ller shrews and the loup garou
baba yaga, jorogumo and the impundulu
now you guys realize the surprising size
of all the worldwide daikaiju

[all]
every country has a monster
they’re afraid of in their nation
every monster

[gypsy]
(sasquatch!)

[all]
has a country

[jonah]
(that’s canada!)

[all]
yeah, a station they call their home

[tom]
(tatzelwurm for the swiss!)

[all]
every country

[crow]
(scandinavia!)

[all]
has a monster

[jonah]
(kraken!)

[all]
they’re afraid of

[tom]
(kinga!)

[all]
in their nation
(moon 13!)
every monster has a country
yeah, we’ve got movie sign

- all song lyrics by mystery science theater 3000